Yes, we all know their relationship was ultimately doomed because of those pesky Bolsheviks who gunned down the whole family in 1917, but I’ll bet she had a real “thing” for the whole ‘Czar package” – the beard, the accent, the supreme power, his mad skills at making borscht, his impressive collection of stacking dolls – maybe he was super bossy and felt all egotistical being emperor and all (ahem)! Maybe she liked to say, “Oh HIT me, Nicholas!” Were they into S&M? Well, obviously they were into mysticism, since they tried to hire Rasputin to cure little Alexei’s hemophilia.

No wonder Queen Victoria’s granddaughter Alex lost her romantic shit for Nicholas II (pssst – it was the accent, I’m sure). It’s a great way to gain a real appreciation for the work of Dmitri Mendeleev (seriously how cool are Russian dude names – Nikolai, Dmitri, Alexei…). If I were a chemistry teacher, I would require students to make their own Periodic Table of Elements – by hand. Who’s with me? Velveeta totally belongs on the Periodic Table of Elements! So how did I spend today? I drew a Periodic Table of Elements on graph paper! It’s a “rough draft,” so I’m not going to take a photo of my handiwork until (possibly) when it’s ALL done! What I will show all of you is a “joke” Periodic Table that was in the book Science Made Stupid by Tom Weller. I have a job that requires I be moderately active and on my feet, so if I can’t meet those requirements, I have to “call off.” But I would kind of like to be walking better on those long shifts, and…I ain’t getting any younger. If it were not for two long “have to be there or call in dead” shifts at the end of my workweek this week (Thanksgiving and Black Friday) I’d probably have showed up today and powered through it. As a result, I’m not feeling too perky today! I had to call off work today because I reignited an “old ankle injury” last night while on a mundane walk in a parking lot.